CONSTRUCTION: FEEDBACK

When we invited feedback on the first cut of our finished film, one major criticism was the way that the film started: we went straight into the female protagonist talking to herself as she waked around the library. The issues raised included:

• the voice over comes in rather abruptly
• the context is not yet established
• the audience does not know how they are supposed to 'read' the text, that is, how we should feel towards the girl
• we intend the audience's reading of the text to be in sympathy with the girl (the preferred reading)

So we devised an additional scene to place before the old opening scene, It improves our narrative in a number of ways:

•  Its slows down the opening, to allow the viewer time to take in the setting and situation and work out the context, whilst also giving us time to lead up to the voice over. 
• It positions the protagonist as helpless and unnoticed, when she gets knocked into by a boy.
• It suggests that the girl is looking for love, through the books she is carrying and her daydream like state. 
• It clearly expresses how we want to position the protagonist and our preferred reading.